Red Red Wine

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO BLOG:  WRCWIT - Red Red Wine

<Enter stage right as UB40's Red Red Wine plays; waving to the applauding crowd of invisible friends>

Thank you! Thank you!  Oh, please stop... You're too kind.  <motioning for the crowd to shoosh until they do>  Okay.  Okay.  No, no - do go on. <smiling coyly>

There are some songs, ladies and gentlemen, that I love for the beat.  And others I love for the lyrics.  A couple I love for the great videos or the deliciously hot singers...  The song that just played - I love for its subject matter!  WINE!!!  haha

See this mug right here?  I am neither confirming nor denying its contents.  But there is a fifty percent chance it contains the nectar of the gods, adult KoolAid or high octane fruit juice, if you will.


I am a wine enthusiast... because I am enthused when I drink it.  All those pinky-up people who sniff it, swirl it and spit it out... Make me want to crash their tastings and yell, "PARTY FOUL!" ... "ALCOHOL ABUSE!" ... "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!"  haha  And I'd be the one arrested.  <smh>  Doesn't make any sense.

<sipping from the mug>  I learned something new about wine today.  Turns out in the Medieval times butt - B-U-T-T - was a measurement of wine.  And a buttload of wine - my personal favorite amount of wine, who knew? - is 126 gallons.  ... That's A LOT of wine. ...  But I'm not scared.  I can confidently say that I can literally drink a buttload of wine.  Just give me 126 weekends and you'll see.  ... I can do it.  ... I'm no quitter.  <sipping from the mug>

I know the Catholic church serves wine in its services.  Of course, my luck, I was born and raised Southern Baptist so we had THE NASTIEST grape juice for communion.  ... A good thing really because it deterred me my whole life from wanting to drink blood.  Ya know, because otherwise I might have wanted to be a vampire... or an alcoholic. <smh>  ... I was well into adulthood before I discovered the joys of wine.  <smh, again>  And because I don't want anyone else to live without the wine the way I did for so many, many long horrible years, in the spirit of Oprah, I'm going to give You all... <loooong pause> ... directions to the bar!  <pointing to the back of the house>  haha  It's right back there, friends!  Get a glass!  Hell, get a bottle!

<waving goodbye>  Don't forget to tip your housekeepers!  Goodnight!

<Exit stage left... well... because I left.>